Want to change your life? Here's what NOT to do.

Uncategorized Jan 07, 2019

It’s all very well and good to be talking about all the cool self-love stuff stuff that you can do, but I know how helpful it can be to also address is the don'ts. You know, the things that you might be doing or thinking that you're unconscious of or you think might have some epic impact on your life, but are actually doing the exact opposite of what you intent. Damn!

1. Don't focus on the external stuff

My quarter life crisis lasted as long as it did (it was about a decade...go me!) because  ALL I focused on was changing the career I didn’t love, the job that made me bored, the friends that weren’t particularly nice, the lack of a significant other and spending my time doing crap that just didn't make me happy.  

Those external circumstances weren’t the problem, it was my internal state and more specifically my relationship with myself that was. No matter how much effort I put into changing these circumstances, I never seemed to make any progress at all because I wasn’t addressing the real problem.

To make matters worse I didn’t realize that focusing so intently on this stuff would only ensure that my life became even more full of this stuff I wasn’t loving. And that’s exactly what happened.

It wasn’t until I finally learned that your life is a complete reflection of what’s going on inside your mind and changed my focus accordingly that things started to change. And OMG the changes that took place happened in the most stress free, struggle free, relaxed most awesome way.

Once I committed to giving this self-love thing go, it was seriously only months before I had a new job, a new boyfriend (now husband) and was planning and epic move to the country (read more about my story HERE). Yup, my life totally, completely and 100% transformed because I shifted my focus in this way.

2. Don’t force things

This is all about remembering and actually living life from the inside out. Once you’re putting your focus on what’s happening inside your mind as opposed to your external circumstances you’ll realize that the whole need to control things, push and force things to get the outcomes you want is a ridiculous waste of time and energy.

Relax and take the action you’re inspired to take (as opposed to the action you think you need to take) and life will unfold in the most spectacular way.

Totally essential in this is accepting where you are now, your journey and the lessons that you need to learn because it isn't until you get to this place and really love you and where you're at that you'll be able to move on to the bigger and better things you're wanting. 

3. Don’t ignore yourself

This is all about staying true to who YOU are. You know yourself better than you think you do and you literally have ALL the answers inside you about your life and what you should be doing with it. 

So don’t go dating someone, choosing careers, staying in the job you hate just because your mom or some other well meaning family member or friend told you too. You’ll never be happy living someone else's life. 

4. Don’t try and be perfect

Because it won’t ever happen and you’ll just be disappointed and hate on yourself. The name of this game is SELF-LOVE. And this means love yourself. Love what you’ve done to get yourself where you are now, love every attempt you make to improve your life, love every mistake you make because they are only making you better. We all fall, say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing and it’s how you treat yourself in those moments that matters the most.

5. Don’t give up

I get it. This work can seem really hard and confusing and complicated and annoying at first. There will for sure be part of you that wants to throw it all in and just be happy with a life that isn’t the one you really want.

Do that and I assure you that you’re only going to come back to this place again and again and again until you learn these lessons. You’re reading these words right now because you’re supposed to. There is something in what I have to say that you need to learn on your path to make your life the most epic it can be.

So don’t give up (there’s no point because life won’t let you). Stick your head down, your bum up and get to work improving what's going on inside you, your relationship with yourself and the way that you’re approaching your life so it can be what you want and deserve.

If you want to find your purpose AND the confidence to pursue it, then don't forget to sign up HERE to get yourself on the wait list for Self-Love For Success.  

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